Current location:	Middleton, Idaho
Current mood:	in need of hugs
Entry tags:	catharsis (ranting cougar alert!), goal/objective (jari has direction???)

Don't look
I made the mistake of looking ahead. I try to stay concentrated on the here and now (in a manner of speaking, anyway) and not worry too much about my own future because, well, I’m a huge worrywart. If I start planning for tomorrow, I’ll get caught up in the worries and be all miserable before I’ve gotten around to dealing with today. Things were going pretty well; I complain my little heart out about the heavy hand of Lord Wal*deMart, but that only means I’m in my element. Complaining, I mean. :-3 I had basically decided to move to Alaska permanently next fall, and was even planning to go back to school sometime.
So what happened? I went college shopping. UAA doesn’t seem all that bad, despite systematically not offering any degree I might be even vaguely interested in. I can’t help comparing it to UAF, though--the most wonderful, amazing school/campus I have ever had the privilege of attending, or even visiting (and I’ve been places like UW and Gonzaga, too)—and find it lacking. The one problem with UAF is, unfortunately, powerful enough to keep me away, and that is that it is in Fairbanks. Dark, cold, miserable, and, honestly, a REALLY ugly/miserable town. They need to pick up the campus, all 3000 acres, and drop it in the heart of downtown Anchorage. Or better yet, Spokane. Then I could have my favorite University in my favorite city. Heck, I’d even take downtown Trapper Creek! Just…not Fairbanks. *sigh*
Of course, I Can’t afford a University for a while yet, even the really affordable University of Alaska ones; I need to find a nice community college to settle into. Unfortunately, Alaska doesn’t have one. APU, alas, doesn’t count. The tuition is nearly 10 times that of anything in the UA system. And that’s a community college! So as near as I can tell, if I work for three years or so without spending any money on anything, I should have enough money to attend UAA for a semester. Then three more years of work, and another semester. Etc. I should have enough credits for my you’re-one-third-of-the-way-there degree by the time I turn 90. And since cougars don’t generally live that long…. Man, the real world is depressing! I wish I had something of value I could sell, but even my sole only sold for $0.03. If it makes me feel any better, it’s probably worth $0.05 in today’s dollars.
I need a hug! Or at least a smack upside the head and strict instructions not to worry needlessly about things that don’t need to be worried about. At least at the moment.
Oh, hey, there’s my bible. That always helps me find some sort of semi-even keel…